Monday, May 31, 2010

Not Me! Monday

This weekend, I did not lose my pants.

Let me rephrase- I did not lose my pants in my room, when I had just seen them the night before. I did not proceed to spend about 30 minutes digging through my room to find said pants. I had to wear them to work, cause it was going to be a 90 degree day under hot lights.

I did not find them in the laundry room when I went to grab another piece of clothing. I did not remember that dad grabbed all my work pants and threw them in the laundry room.

And this morning, I did not misplace my car keys. I’m not disorganized enough to lose things TWO days in a row! I did not dig through my room AGAIN to find them. I did not cry in frustration. I did not call dad to ask if he had seen them, only for him to tell me that I would not be driving the car that those car keys belonged to. He had that car. I did not remember that the night before he told me that I would have the other car. And I did not spend nearly 45 minutes looking for car keys for a car that I would not be driving.

I did not make my room into a god awful mess. I would never let it get out of control. It is not one of the worst messes I’ve ever had to deal with. There aren’t clothes strewn all over and papers cluttering the floor. I have not tripped at least three times this morning over my crud. While I’m slightly disorganized, I’m not this bad.

I am not panicking over my group project that is supposedly due tonight. I am usually very much in control of all my school projects and don’t wait until the last minute to make sure my group gets it together to get it finished. I will not be up until 1am making sure it is completed. I did not call a coworker to cover half of my shift so I could get more done. I would never sacrifice precious work hours to make sure school is completed.

What have you NOT done this week? Mortified to admit those crazy things you’ve done? Well no worry… you DIDN’T do it! Link over to MckMama’s page this lovely morning and write about what you didn’t do as well. It’s NOT a lot of fun! :-)

Friday, May 28, 2010

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R' Us kid!

I am not ashamed to admit it, but I consider myself to be more like a big kid than an adult. Not that I have anything against adults acting mature and responsible (even I have to do this every once in a while!), however, I just prefer to get down and dirty and have as much fun as possible! I don’t let age limits stop me from participating in activities that I enjoyed even ten years ago. Plus, by having that childlike demeanor, I feel like I am able to take more joy out of everyday situations. Not that I’m naïve, but one thing I’ve always admired about children is that most are able to see the positive in any sort of situation. Bad things happen, but most of the time children are able to roll with the punches and not worry nearly as much about fears consuming their whole being.

When I babysit or nanny, I believe it is fully important to actually play with the child. I have to be honest in that playing with a child is a much harder task than it used to be. Children have such vivid imaginations! They see a toy and can instantly create a story that evolves into something magical. And it’s like a psychic connection that children have, they can come together and make two different stories (because honestly, not every child thinks on the same wavelength) combine into something that works for them.

Currently I babysit a cute four year old girl and her two year old brother. She has such a creative mind and I find it very difficult to keep up and ‘pretend’ with her. But by participating in her stories, I find that my imagination continues to expand and that I think out of the box much more effectively than before. In a way, it keeps me feeling young! I hope that I can still feel this way twenty years from now, when that ‘young feeling’ is much harder to grasp when needed.

Some of my hobbies and activities I enjoy are kid based too, and in this case, I enjoy them without the presence of children around. For instance, I LOVE CARTOONS! I’m sure you noticed on my last post that I had a picture of Patrick from Spongebob.

Spongebob is an adorable cartoon from Nickelodeon about undersea critters. It has been on the air for about 11 years now, so I enjoyed it quite thoroughly even when I was 11 years old! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found themes, jokes, and ideas that are actually more ‘adult’ focused. I believe kids enjoy cartoons for the simple story lines, the cleverly drawn characters, and the simple jokes. But beyond that, they involve a lot of laughs for adults to enjoy too.

Another great cartoon that is only a couple years old is ‘Phineas and Ferb’. Created with that touch of Disney magic, it tells the adventures of two young boys that live each day in summer to the fullest, and their older sister who is always trying to bust her brothers for their daily creations. Filled with clever puns, good music, an excellent storyline, and humorous characters, it easily warms into the hearts of both children and adults alike. Below is one of my favorite episodes, namely for the song ‘Squirrels in my Pants’.

VIDEO GAMES! Oh my gosh do I love me some video games! Now, I do play video games that are structured generally for the 12 and up crowd (minus the Wii games, which are amazingly fun as well!). It’s just so fun to get into a game where you are another character and you have to undergo adventures and quests. Pokémon is one of my favorites! You start as a ten year old about to receive your first Pokemon so you can go off and take a journey to become the best Pokemon trainer in the land. Currently I have my own copy of Pokemon HeartGold that I still need to finish, however I’m just so busy my life that I’ve been neglecting it! I also have a love for World of Warcraft! You start as a creature questing to defeat monsters, enemies, and finding important information that is crucial to your race. You join up with other individuals to quest, if you so choose. There are also fun games to play within the game, such as capture the flag. It’s very addicting! Too bad I have better things to spend $14.95 on a month.

Last but not least, I’m just crazy, goofy, and I don’t let other people tell me not to be fun and out of the box. It is always so nice to make your friends laugh while using funny voices, pretending to be like other people, and telling amusing (if not redundant) jokes. Even though I’m 22, I don’t let the stressors of finishing college and deciding what I want to do with my life control and overwhelm me (all the time, occasionally it makes me feel a little anxious!). I feel good about my life.

Don’t feel afraid to let loose. Don’t let age restrictions keep you from enjoying activities you’d like to participate in. Take in all the joys and wonders life has to offer. Use your imagination and don’t be afraid to be a little creative. In my opinion, it makes life just a little bit nicer!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Spongebob, I Got an Award!

Ooh, that is just an epic episode.

Anyways, I was just looking through the blogs I've been following.. and HOLY COW!! I got an award! I think that's pretty darn sweet! Apparently I'm an awesome commenter, and The Girl Who Loves to Whine over at I Know You Wish Your Life Was More Like Mine! says so! Thanks!

So, I guess there are some rules I have to abide by as a nominee.

1. Thank person who nominated me.

2. Copy the award. Paste it in my blog.

3. Link to the person who gave me this award.

4. Answer the 10 questions that come with the award.


1. Why do you blog?

I blog because I've always had a passion for writing and I know it is something I excell in. I could always write a journal, but I honestly believe that I do have a lot of important things to say and I want others to see it! I'm not ashamed of what I have to say at all!

2. What are your 3 best memories?

My first memory that I will talk about was of Christmas when I was about 5 years old. My mom was very poor and we lived on welfare. The Women's Shelter in my town invited us over and took us back into a room so the director could talk to my mom and I. In there, there were a TON of presents. They then told me they were all for me! I will never forget how happy I was. To this day, I want to volunteer because I want other people to experience the same joy I felt when that happened.

Another one of my favorite memories was when I was dating a guy back at Luther College. We had been dating for about a month when he decided to drive us to this cool little park at 4am. I hadn't been there before, but he had. There was a trail off the side of the park, and it led to this big stone tower we climbed up. It was a little rough, but the at the top it was beautiful. We stayed and watched the sunrise. It was only about 35 degrees, but it is a fond memory.

My last memory that I will talk about was my first airplane trip that I remember. My family went to Hawaii, and let me tell you... it was a LONG day. We got to the hotel at about 6pm after a busy and tiring travel day, and we walked out to the beach at sunset. It was incredibly peaceful, just a few people walking along the edge of the beach. It was the first time I had ever seen the ocean, and I remember the feel of the water on my toes. It was pretty sweet.
3. If you had to change your real name what would you change it to?

If I had to change my name? I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I mean, Rachel is ok, but when I was a kid I wanted to be called Larissa (where in the world did I get that name??).

4. What are five things you can't live without?
1. My friends. I have amazing, incredible friends who support me, are there for me when I need it, and we always have good times. This would include my boyfriend, the only one I will name specifically. I have known him for about a year and what an incredible year this has been getting to know him. I know, at the very least, I want him to part of my life always... in some way, shape, or form.

2. My computer. Ohhh my goodness, am I addicted! I'm always on it, but that's ok!

3. Hugs!! I'm very much a physical touch sort of person, and I would die without them!

4. My therapist- without him, I would not have made the progress I've made today

5. God's love. When I am all alone, I remember that He is always there.

5. What are the 4 best books you've ever read?

1. How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk- John Van Epp. I was not able to date effectively until I read this book. I'm not in a perfect relationship now, but it's quite functional :)

2. The Hunger Games- Suzanne Collins. No words to describe how AWESOME this book series is!

3. The Last Song- Nicholas Sparks. I'm a big Nicholas Sparks fan, and his newest book was just perfect. It was a mix of romance and emotional drama that would make some people cringe, but I just sucked it in.

4. Small Town Girl- LaVyrle Spencer. About a country star who comes home to take care of her mom while she's recovering from hip surgery. She realizes she was missing out after she left home, and getting to know the neighbor boy from her childhood shows to be quite memorable.
6. Tell me something unique and interesting about yourself.

I don't know what's really unique about myself specifically, but I really strive to be different from other individuals. I don't like being labeled and I don't put limits on my abilities. So I think that's kind of unique and interesting! :)
7. What do you love best about yourself?

My hair!! :-D

8. What is the best movie ever made?

I'm not really a movie watcher, but one of my favorites is 'The Little Mermaid'. I have a similar personality type to Ariel and I think it's one of the more interesting Disney movies in that it promotes an adventurous spirit for young girls. 'Mulan' is another excellent example.

9. If you had a "freaky friday" experience who would you trade places with and why?

Oh jeez, I don't know. Probably something as simple as my boyfriend, cause I would want to see what it would be like to be a boy. I never really felt the urge to be anybody else!

10. What's the best part about being a woman?

According to the Shania Twain song.. 'the perogative to have a little fun!' ;)

4. Answer the 10 questions that come with the award.

5. Nominate of few of your favorite bloggers for the award.

Well, my first shout out goes to Janae Moss at Pink Moss! We definitely come from different backgrounds, but she is an excellent commenter and she always has very nice and thoughtful things to say!

The second one goes out to Rebecca at Say What You Say. Met her from 20sb, she has a very refreshing writing style and she gives plenty of sweet comments that make my day!

Apparently she's popular, because I noticed on another blog she's been given the award before, but it's Ratz from What Can I Say!. She definitely is able to relate to a lot of my posts.
My last award goes to Rae at The Teen Blog. She seems to be another young lover of the internet and she just is too darn adorable!

6. Post links to the bloggers you nominate.
Alrighty then, that's what I've gotta say today! Thanks again, Girl Who Loves To Whine, you put a big smile on my face!!

Who Am I?

It seems like many blogs I’ve been starting to follow within the last couple of weeks have a lot of Christian values. Even if they are struggling to find their place in God’s eyes, they seem to take matters seriously. They know the bible and various bible verses. They know the songs. They participate in church. At first, I feel a little envious. And then I realize that God does not want me to be envious, especially in matters that come down to Him. He wants me to be myself and to do His will.

I am in the process of trying to find my identity within the Christian realm, and I’ll have to admit that it’s very overwhelming. I try to go to church. I try to read the bible. I pray, although I have a very bizarre way of praying. I try to look at all the different denominations and viewpoints and try to sort through which fits me the best. But I’m still very unsteady and unsure.

One of my biggest hurdles at the current time is I do not live in a college town. I am 22 years old, and the population of individuals in the 19-26 age range in my town is very slim. The church I attended throughout childhood all of a sudden started to feel very hostile because it felt like I didn’t exist. Not that I want to be the center of attention, but I want friends and I want to develop relationships with the other members. While I am an extravert, reaching out to specific individuals in such a large church was very scary.

So I decided to tag along with my boyfriend to his church. Immediately I felt much more comfortable because I was no longer alone, and the congregation was a lot younger compared to my other church. The goals of the church were clear: Accept Jesus, helping people to Become like Jesus, and helping people Contribute the love of Jesus to their world (the ABC method). The motto of the church is ‘Come As You Are’, which is extremely refreshing because I do not feel the need to fit into some type of mold to be accepted. I still wonder how my fit is though. While they have a great worship team, other individuals within the congregation don’t appear to get into the music. Sure, it might not seem like a big deal, but I best express my love and worship to God through music. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think if I choose to get involved with the music more than others, but I still feel extremely self conscious.

I have yet to participate in many of the church activities, though they do seem to be dying down for the summer. It’s very difficult to participate in a lot due to the fact the church is nearly 25 minutes away from where I live. My boyfriend participates in an activity called Celebrate Recovery, which is an event in where individuals with addictive, compulsive, and dysfunctional behaviors can come together with one another to experience God’s healing power and learn principles that help keep us from such unhealthy things. I think it sounds like a terrific program, though I would have to go to one much closer to my home and the thought of going alone is TERRIFYING! At a different church in town, one I actually attended my senior year of high school, they have a program for individuals age 18-35 to meet with similar aged individuals while celebrating God’s love with one another. Once again, it sounds terrific. But I feel so afraid to go on my own.

I read the bible occasionally, though even that I find is a struggle. Sure, I have my favorite books, verses, chapters, but I have yet to hammer through the whole thing. I don’t know all the stories, and I can’t spout verses to follow or inspire others. When I see other blogs taking multiple verses and writing thoughts about those verses, I feel like I know absolutely nothing. I just don’t find sitting down at reading the bible for hours at a time very fun. I also stink at creating and following study guides that help me sort through the bible more effectively. I’m hoping to join a bible study class when one is offered at my church.

I do pray, and quite frequently, but it’s a very strange way of praying. There are no words involved- God knows my thoughts and my heart. For me, it’s a quiet introspection time as I allow all the jumbled thoughts instead my mind calm down, so I can meditate and let God search my innermost being. The unique thing about this is that I have the ability to pray virtually anywhere I am. Ever since I started to do this, I find that I am finding answers for questions that I have been struggling with for years. My depression has diminished, I’m making fewer stupid choices, and I’m feeling better overall. It still doesn’t answer all my concerns, like the ones I’ve already posted, but I’m sure it will come in time.

At the very least, I try to go out of my way to show what Jesus wants us to show our fellow mankind: love. I am very accepting. I pray for other bloggers, friends, people I don’t enjoy, and family. I go out of my way to help others. I try to show people that I am there for them and that I care for them. Matthew 7 is probably one of my favorite chapters for it gives me extremely clear direction for what I need to do to be accepted into God’s Kingdom.

It’s just difficult. I want to understand my place in God’s eyes, and I want to do His will. I have no idea how to go about doing this in ways that I feel comfortable, though I know that’s an unrealistic expectation. Seeking God is not easy and likely will feel uncomfortable. I just have to push past my fears and anxiety and just do it. Go to the events. Read the bible. Continue to pray for guidance for myself and others. Spread God’s love to other individuals.

Hopefully things get better. I know if I try, they will. It will just take some time to get established. It’s like losing weight in a way. You establish healthy behaviors and habits to get the weight to come off. It’s a slow process, but eventually you reach the goal you desire. And you have to continue to work to maintain that goal. Same with doing God’s will. We have to do those things that are healthy to get to the goal we work towards, and we don’t quit when we get there. It’s a never ending process.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Staying Steady on the Balance Beam

Oh my goodness! When I started working on this blog, I was so excited and eager to get writing posts right away and developing all sorts of fun ideas to write about. I pushed life away and focused nearly 100% on my writing. I mean, sure, I did my other things but blogging took precedence

Then I realized I was slacking on work and school. Nothing extreme, but I was definitely losing focus on things that are a priority in life. My assignments were getting in late (actually, that might not be because of this. My statistics class was lame and the teacher was awful!), I wasn’t putting as much zeal into my work, and all that was on my mind was ‘What should I write next?’

If you know a little bit about me, I am very much a black and white thinker. All or nothing. There is no middle ground for me. This type of thinking pattern is very destructive for me, mainly in the form that I cannot appear to balance out activities I enjoy very well. When I realized I had to get back to my other priorities, all of a sudden I felt exhausted to think about blogging by the end of the day. My goal was to write a post every day, and constantly follow all the blogs I’ve been starting to follow.

Alright, within a matter of days, I realize that is obviously a daunting task.

There is a balance between keeping a blog and still living life. Unless one is actually making an income on their blog (which I am pretty sure there are not many), we have to realize that life does come first. Blogging is a fun hobby, for sure! But getting too heavily involved in any hobby can be unhealthy. A lot of the blogs I follow consist of authors that go to school, have a family, and have a career (if not a mix of any two or all three!). I can’t help but crack a smile when I see them talk about setting goals of getting their butt off the computer and getting other work done!

I pretty much live on my computer. This was already pre-blogging. I guess I do have the excuse of actually attending school online which means between 10-20 hours a week of time is committed to reading textbooks, writing papers and powerpoints, and participating in daily discussion questions. Besides school, Facebook and instant messenger are always one click away. I easily have three or four hour conversations with friends over chat. I skype with my boyfriend frequently. I have iTunes on in the background every now and then. I also play some video games, like World of Warcraft (used to) and Dream of Mirror Online. I read CNN and followed about 25 blogs and CaringBridge pages. I also Googled random topics that I found interesting and could read for hours. Wikipedia was both my best friend and my worst enemy.

On top of all that craziness, now I have made the commitment to write about things that are important. Some people can throw together blog posts quickly, but I approach things differently by thinking of topics and ideas ahead of time. I spent a lot of time concocting in my head how I want a blog post to appear. I have a growing list of blog topics that I plan to write about. I also have about four other half finished blog entries that I am churning out slowly.

As for the rest of my life, I’ve gotten quite lazy. Going outside on my own will has almost become a chore. I let chores go unfinished around the house, only to the dismay of my father who yells about how I’m not doing my part around the house. Besides spending time with my boyfriend, I haven’t been seeing many friends and spending time with them.

I obviously need to get a better handle on how to manage my computer time from cleaning, friend, work, outside, and sleeping time. I have been keeping a calendar for a while (thank you BJ!) and most of that is filled with work times and some other events that are going on. What I need to do weekly is set up time that I am devoting to doing all my ‘other’ online activities. I have tried going the other way around by planning times to honor my other commitments, but it only frustrates me because then I do not feel like I have much flexibility at all. In reality, I do have a lot of time to spare. It’s easier for me to put in ‘Ok, this Monday from 6pm to 9pm I am going to read my blogs, write any posts, veg out on Facebook and instant messenger, and whatever other junk I have subjected myself to obsess over’.

Ok, so I’m not going to churn out a blog post daily. I won’t be able to follow every single post to every single blog I follow (trust me, I’d like to, but I’d go mad since I follow currently about 40+ blogs). It’s very tempting, yes, but I have to keep myself happy, healthy, and depression free. I don’t want to feel exhausted if it’s 11pm at night after a busy day of papers and work to feel compelled to write something. There’s always a better and more appropriate time.

It’s all a delicate balancing act.

Now I just have to figure out how to make this work for me.

How do you guys balance blogging and life? I always appreciate comments and suggestions!


Friday, May 21, 2010

101/1001 Day Challenge

Well, I finally decided to look into this whole 1001 day project that I have seen so many other blogs talking about. Within seeing about five blogs doing the challenge, I hopped on Google and found a website that went more into detail about what the project is. After a while of getting the idea, I played around with developing my own list. I also read many different lists, and every single one was different in ways unlike another’s. I thought it was very unique!

So, after thinking about what my intentions were, I figured this would be an excellent project to tackle. And because I’m so god awful at staying consistent with a project, I decided this would be a good segment to add to my blog. That way I am not only fulfilling a duty to myself, but I am also fulfilling the duty to you (my readers) that I will keep at this going strong!

I realize the concept of the project was not to finish every single list. Instead, the list has us examine what our goals, dreams, and passions are, and to start finding ways to make those things possible. Obviously, not everything on the list is going to be earth-shattering. Some of my goals are actually to try new things, and others are to do things I should be doing more often.

I think actually having the list will help me have a better ability to focus on my goals, instead of just having them stew in my head (it would be pretty easy to forget if I were doing that!). I believe it will be a pretty cool feeling to put an X next to a completed goal; in fact, thinking about crossing a goal off almost makes me feel more motivated to complete the various goals.

Anyways, I suppose I don’t really have a whole lot else to add on the subject. Once some changes come to the blog, all my posts specifically about the challenge should be redirected to a different page entirely. Enjoy!

1. Ride in a hot air balloon

2. Go skydiving

3. Read 100 books (1/100)

4. Write a song

5. Graduate College

6. Make a list of things to do before I die

7. Get a promotion

8. Save $5 for every task I complete

9. Keep a dream journal

10. Go camping with friends

11. Send Christmas cards to family and friends

12. Travel to Japan

13. Get my ham radio license

14. Run a mile without stopping

15. Volunteer for a charity

16. Learn to play another instrument

17. Move out of the house

18. Inspire someone else to make their own list

19. Finish a coloring book

20. Join a softball team

21. Go trick or treating

22. Be in a play

23. Go to a Tim McGraw concert

24. Finish Pokemon HeartGold

25. Buy all the Phineas and Ferb episodes on iTunes

26. Go on a roadtrip out west

27. Get to 140 lbs, my goal weight

28. Get off all my medications

29. Go to Build-a-Bear

30. Get 100 people to follow my blog

31. Stay in a relationship for at least a year

32. Learn how to paint my toenails the correct way

33. Grow my hair to my butt

34. Try 10 new coffee flavors

35. Write a whole journal

36. Get in a bible study group

37. Make a new best friend who is a girl

38. Start writing a biography

39. Storm spot a tornado

40. Get something I’ve written published

41. Find a full time job

42. Get an A in at least five classes

43. Go on a 75 mile bike ride

44. Write at least one blog entry a week

45. Send a letter to a friend I don’t see anymore

46. Go on a weeklong Facebook hiatus

47. Visit my grandma in Florida

48. Make a fleece blanket

49. Meet a famous person

50. Meet a blogger that I follow (that I already didn’t know)

51. Go to a family reunion

52. Be an extra in a movie

53. Give a friend flowers anonymously

54. Have a reunion with my high school friends

55. Host a party

56. Make a scrapbook

57. Have a slumber party

58. Go a weekend without technology

59. Visit my family in Lousiana

60. Make a video documentary

61. Write a letter to myself to open in ten years

62. Go water skiing

63. Make a five course meal

64. Go a month without buying anything that isn’t a necessity

65. Win a contest

66. Join a roleplaying game

67. Write a love letter

68. Try out for American Idol

69. Write a short fiction story

70. Get into grad school

71. Pay for an entire date

72. Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day

73. Try escargot

74. Listen to music nonstop for 24 hours

75. Give a coffee shop a ten dollar tip

76. Go canoeing

77. Meet a family member I haven’t met yet

78. Be a vegetarian for a week

79. Finish a rubik’s cube

80. Save all my change for six months

81. Get my managers a thank you gift

82. Buy something on Ebay

83. Run in a marathon

84. Take a photography class

85. Buy a new camera

86. Score a 300 in Wii bowling

87. Cook a romantic meal for my significant other

88. Become a fan of a new TV show I haven’t seen before

89. Sing in a friend’s wedding

90. Be a sober cab

91. Be a part of a bachelorette party

92. Buy a little black dress

93. Donate my hair to Locks of Love

94. Go surfing

95. Go on a road trip in my state

96. Have a Disney Princess Movie marathon

97. Redecorate my room

98. Mentor a young girl

99. Learn a song on a guitar

100. Write a Letter to somebody that inspires me

101. Clean the whole house


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ooh La La! My Uber Sexy Curly Curls

Are you ready for it?

Are you??


Well, this blog isn’t called ‘Curly-Haired Confessions’ for nothing. 99% of the time you will be subjected to the confessions. However, I figured it would be fun to write about my hair! I absolutely love my hair! So you get to read all about the trials and tribulations from having those sexy curly curls!

Through the years, the curls have changed. Went from mild curls, to ‘Annie’ hair, to dork hair (yeah, none of you will ever see a picture from these years! It was a scary time! Trust me!), to disguising my curls with a straightener, to finally finding a way to accept my curls the way they are.

I was blessed into this world with a thick head of hair… well, maybe not right away, but I see pictures of my hair when I was really little, like here, and my hair was just ‘wild child’ hair. It stuck up every which way. My hair doesn’t really appear to be very curly. I’m sure my mom went crazy having to deal with it though.

Now, don’t laugh at me, but I’m pretty sure I remember the very moment that my hair turned curly. Yes- there was a distinct moment. I believe I was about 3 or 4 years old, and I was sliding down the stairs at my cousin’s house with my cousin. I remember sliding so fast that my hair just turned curly. Considering this IS in my memory banks, it HAS to be true. :-3
When I was younger, I really didn’t like having curly hair. It never really outwardly bothered me, but I would often ‘brush it to make it straight’. I probably did that many times from the age of five to the age of eleven. When I lived with my birth mom, she brushed it out more and kept it long, so the curls appeared to be much softer than when I lived with my adoptive parents. My adoptive mom kept it very short. I assume she loved those curls, and wanted to preserve them. As much as I hated my hair back then, I look at those pictures from 8-10 and I think I look absolutely adorable!

I must have finally argued my mom enough to the point where I can tell I took over how my hair looked. Ohh, how I wish I could go back in time to tell myself to just let my mom continue doing my hair! I started brushing it often, so the curl once again looked a lot softer. But this time, with my hair shorter and one length, it poofed! Maybe one day I’ll show you a picture of what I looked like with ‘triangle’ hair. It’s absolutely hideous!

Thankfully, I had a fashionable foster sister in middle school that was able to show me the error of my ways. Mainly, she showed me how to braid my hair, pull it up into a neat ponytail, and a few other various tricks. Most didn’t fully embrace my curls… actually, I don’t believe any of them did. But at least my hair looked slightly more presentable in public, and no more triangle hair!

Not to say I didn’t try and learn to cope with my hair. I listened to the hairdressers that cut my hair repeatedly and found their advice was utterly hopeless on my head of hair. In fact, why trust them when I hated the way my hair looked (even MORE than usual) after walking out of the salon. They always told me tidbits of advice like “pick it with a comb”, “never blow dry”, among other things that just made my hair look terrible. Whenever I let it air dry, it would look all frizzy and it would hang wrong (by this time my hair was about the length of my shoulder blades). When I picked it, my hair style looked like it came straight out of a 1980’s yearbook! Yuck!

Once I hit high school, I finally had enough money to invest in a hair straightener. This was actually a device I begged my parents to buy me when I was in 8th grade, however they didn’t see any reason to ruin my hair. I loved my straightener. Sure, I had to wake up an extra hour to shower, blow dry, and straighten in the mornings before school, but I never felt ashamed of my hair. My classmates would notice and compliment my long, straight brown hair (now I see how boring that sounds).

Then… the accident happened…

And no, I don’t mean like a car accident or hurting myself. In October of my sophomore year of high school, I was getting ready to attend a wedding with my parents. I was blow drying my hair before I was going to straighten it, but prior to blow drying I had put in this anti-frizz spray I had received the day before at the salon. They gave it to me so my hair would look smoother when I straightened it. Then, when I turned off the blow dryer… my hair looked very pretty. And it was curly! GASP! So I left it like that, and I got a lot of compliments at the wedding reception.

After the wedding, it was a lot of playing around with my hair. Some days, my hair looked amazing! And other days, my hair looked like total crap! I didn’t care though, I finally felt proud of my hair the way it is. Here’s my hair about six months after I hit my ‘revelation’.

Since I’ve started to like my hair, it’s been a lot of trial and error. I’ve experimented with different haircuts, lengths, hair colors, and products. Right now, I love the length, but I’ve discovered I have a lovely patch on the left side of my head that frizzes more than any part on my head. I’ve learned that a side part compliments my curl (and the widow’s peak I want to hide) much nicer. Layers help give my hair body and they allow the curls to flow freely down my back. I’m growing it out (say, Miley Cyrus length?) and it’s stubborn in not growing out well once it gets about to bra hook length.

Every now and then I get an individual, generally somebody who is shopping in the store I work at, who will go ‘I LOVE your hair! You must absolutely HATE it!’ That always makes me laugh really hard. I tell them that I love my hair, I’m proud of it, and I would never imagine changing it. Then they laugh and tell me that I’m fortunate to feel that way!

We were all given different types of hair that I believe we should accept and embrace. I remember in high school there were a lot of girls who dyed their hair platinum blonde and straightened it, so they all looked the same. God made for us to have different types of hair, and I believe there is truly no boring hairdo. I like seeing the variety of colors, the different lengths, it is just so fun. So I challenge you to do something that honors YOUR hair. Be proud of the way it is :).


Monday, May 17, 2010

Thoughtful Quotes to Live By

****I thought it would be fun to play with some quotes in my blog. My friend Chellie and I were talking about different ideas for blog topics and she suggested finding a quote and writing my thoughts on it. I thought it was BRILLIANT! Tell me what you think about it, cause I might try and make it a weekly thing.****

Today’s Quote:

They can because they think they can. – Virgil

I’m certainly not the only person in the world who feels insanely frustrated with lack of ability to do something well. I often get discouraged because I see somebody do something absolutely incredible, and I think ‘I would LOVE to do this, but there is absolutely no way I am able to.’ So, I don’t bother. I feel a little like that when I’m writing. I see people write and they are so good. Other people flock to them like bees to a flower. Why should I write when others are better?

I also tend to make a lot of excuses for why I can’t do something. A lot of times it boils down to something in my subconscious that is saying ‘you can’t do this, you can’t do this’. “Oh, I’m too busy.” “Oh, I have to do this first.” “Oh, what’s the point if nobody’s going to notice?” I just board the excuse train and don’t get anything done.

My therapist (yes, I DO see one) constantly tells me that I’m very much a perfectionist. The definition of perfectionism, at least the one I feel most applies to me, is a disposition to feel that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. A lot of times you’ll find perfectionists only apply that standard to themselves. My dad is different in the fact he applies his perfectionism to people around him: his coworkers, I would assume his girlfriend, me. If I don’t maintain his image of what is perfect, then he freaks out. There are those types of perfectionists too.

But I am a perfectionist in that I don’t feel like I am good enough. When I am often looking at another’s creations, I think that it is AMAZING! Terrific, wonderful, flawless. Something I could never create nearly as well. What they made is perfect, in my opinion. But is that realistic? Probably not so much. I have to realize that they probably feel insecure about their own creations; they notice the flaws, the inconsistencies, and the mistakes that they make too. Chances are, they do probably feel some of what I feel: that it’s not good enough.

Perfectionists like me also make excuses because they don’t want to put effort into anything they don’t feel like they are going to do well in. By choosing to take the excuse route, we are often labeled as ‘careless’ and ‘lazy’. That really isn’t the case. We care immensely about some things, but often it gets very stressful to put that much care and thought into everything.

Yet, every day I see something incredible made by another person’s hands. What sets them apart to somebody like me though, is that they believe they can do it, and they JUST DO IT. They don’t let things like perfectionism stop them from doing what they want to do. They don’t make excuses, they don’t give up, they don’t get scared about performance, and they don’t let other people stop them. Get this- They CAN because they THINK they can. Isn’t that cool? And when they do, chances are people will appreciate it! Even if it’s not absolutely terrific, at least somebody is going to appreciate that the individual had the courage to do what they wanted to do.

I think about all the different instances where I let these fears and excuses stop me from doing what is interesting. I know this quote isn’t going to be ‘life-shattering’ and things aren’t going to make a 180. I will still make fears and excuses, because I’m human and I’m imperfect. But, when I feel like something is stopping me from doing something that I would really enjoy, I plan to try something different now. This time, I will remember that everybody faces the same obstacles that I face. I will pray for guidance and direction, and I will go to friends and family for encouragement and motivation. I will also tell myself repeatedly that I CAN do it. If they can do it, so can I.

I can, because I think I can.


Not Me! Monday

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

Today, I am not putting off my very last piece of homework for my class that finishes up tonight. It is not only five simple questions. In fact, I have not finished every piece of homework at this last minute for the entire duration of this class. I am not that careless! I need to get good grades! I am not debating putting the darn worksheet off until after work tonight, either.

I am not stressing about having two jobs and full time school now. I just started my second job last week and I did not even consider the fact that between that, my boyfriend, my other job, and non-stop school that it would be too much. I am not worried that I am in over my head.

I also did not forget to go to the bathroom before work yesterday. I didn't know I would be working four and a half hours without a break! I would NEVER forget even if I did! I was not doing the potty dance while I was closing the store, either. Nope! Not me! Never to the point where other people could laugh at me, let alone see me!

Have you done anything that you would be mortified to ever admit to anybody? Well, that's what Not Me! Monday is for! To prove that you 'didn't' do it! Go on over to MckMama's page and see what other people didn't do today, either!


Sunday, May 16, 2010

Never Too Old for the Playground

What's that? I'm at a playground? With friends? Scandelous!

Yes, THESE terrific friends!

Laughing, swinging
...Ok, maybe a LITTLE posing
And overall, it was a really fun evening spending it with friends I don't see very often. Mental note: Must fix that!



I know I’m new to this, but I will soon be undergoing a blog makeover! One of my favorite aspects about looking at other blogs is to look at the variety of designs other people have created. I love all the colors, the frames, the fun and quirky pieces that make an individual’s blog unique to them. One of the things I almost had trouble with once I found a designer that fit my needs and my price was finding the right digital kit! Have you SEEN how many choices there are out there? It’s ridiculous! I probably sorted through at least a couple hundred, trying to find my taste in colors and extras. When I sent my email about what I liked specifically about the kit I chose, I must have sounded like the pickiest person ever!
Plus, it was a birthday present for myself :-3 heehee!

****Blog design is a hobby I would become interested in developing, so if any readers do this in their spare time and are willing to show the tricks of the trade, I would very much appreciate it! I have no experience in HTML and CSS.****

Also, I will be doing a better job of carrying my camera with me wherever I go. I have never really thought of myself being skilled in photography, but it never hurts to try, right? I read a lot of blogs with authors who seem to be very skilled in the art of Photoshop or Lightroom; I most certainly can’t afford those at the moment, but maybe in a few months I will get the opportunity to play with such wonderful photo editing tools. So, I hope you don’t mind the lack of editing!

****If you know any free or low pricing photo editing software that is good, you are welcome to tell me about it!****

Well, I hope you like the changes that will be coming forth! The pictures will be up pretty soon probably :).


Friday, May 14, 2010

Let's Face It. Facebook is ADDICTING!!!

It’s great in this day and age to have effective ways of social networking. I started my journey sometime I believe in 2006, and it was on Myspace first. I easily got locked into the hype: trying to get as many friends as possible, decorating your page, putting music on your page, the coveted ‘relationship’ status. I met a few boyfriends over Myspace, too (that doesn’t sound wrong at all, does it?). It was all fun and games, and I was definitely hooked.

Not more than six months later, I was introduced to Facebook. I actually had a Facebook account maybe only a month after the creation of my Myspace account, but at that point it was really only for college students. The summer before I trotted off to college I started getting into Facebook more than Myspace. It was really cool, especially, that everybody who was headed off to Luther for the fall of 2006 was easily able to connect with one another. You were able to figure out what types of people you had most in common with, people majoring in the same thing you planned to, even which people were going to be in your wing of a certain dorm. It was wild, fun, and a great way to get to know people ahead of actually MEETING them.

A lot of the concepts were similar between Myspace and Facebook. Who had the most friends, who had the most wall postings, what your relationship status was. As cool as it was to edit the look of your page through Myspace, I opted for the cleaner and more polished look from Facebook. Plus, I didn’t seem to get messages from stalkers from Facebook nearly as much as I did on Myspace! That was always a nice thing!

Now that I’ve been a Facebook user for almost four years now, I’ve witnessed most of the changes that have taken place. I remember Facebook when it was only college students and a select few in high school. I remember how mad most of the people on campus were when we realized that anybody else now had access to use and utilize Facebook, but that was short lived, and we got used to it pretty quickly. I remember when it didn’t have the main feed looking the way it does now: people were pretty annoyed about that. I remember when everything on your page was all in one section, with your information on top and your wall on the bottom. I could go on.

It makes me laugh when people always complain about Facebook making some large change, because within a month or two people just adjust anyways. I admit that I haven’t always been happy with the changes made, but now I can’t even remember well the way things were before the change. We all adjust pretty quickly to them.

I’ve also heard a lot of complaints with the changes in the Privacy settings. Now, I don’t follow the regulations to a T (in fact, I barely follow them at all), but Facebook has always given us pretty secure privacy options if we really want them. Often times the users have to activate them to be put into use, but it’s much more effective than complaining that Facebook is allowing some things to be not as private. If you can make it private, just click or unclick the box. Simple as that. And I don’t have any problems with privacy whatsoever.

There is a lot of truth about being careful with what you put on your Facebook, too. Sure, it might feel relieving to complain about your job, or your school, but if you take it too far you have no guarantees that somebody on your friends list won’t spill the beans. Even if you remove it, all they have to do is take a snapshot of the page before you have done so, and they have evidence. It’s ok to complain a little, but make sure you are tactful about it. Also, don’t put any pictures that might have the same effect. I’ve read articles about people not being hired or let into certain graduate schools because the individual participating in activities that particular institution does not support. Also- do you want ALL your family and friends to know everything? You might think only your friends notice that stuff, but I’ve gotten quite a few side comments from family members. I also realize that I do have a 10 year old in my friend’s page, and I have to be appropriate as well.

I can’t lie; I do heavily utilize the custom privacy features. Some battles aren’t worth picking, and my dad likes to battle EVERYTHING. So I just state that I don’t want him seeing specific features. I wouldn’t suggest doing this with everybody, especially because it would take a lot of time, but it helps you avoid situations that might cause some trouble. I wouldn’t fully rely on this feature either, because if friends are viewing another mutual friend’s page, they might get annoyed if they realize they can’t view certain content while the other friend can.

It’s also really crazy to see Facebook on your phone and iPod; makes me wonder what ways Facebook will go next. How about Facebook 3D? Oh look, her profile picture pops out! Almost everybody I know over the age of 14 has a Facebook. It’s part of our daily conversation, nothing special, it’s just THERE. I’ve seen pages for animals and babies.

And fan pages! Ooh, those are absolutely hilarious! I believe the trend started last year, but people will click ‘Become a Fan’ (actually, now it’s ‘Like’) on some page that people enjoy or have in common. Some of them are situations, or quotes. Here are a few of the things I ‘Like’:

‘Join if you can name more Pokemon than Presidents’
‘Spongebob’s face when he figured out Squidward likes Krabby Patties’
‘The S Thing we All Drew in Elementary School’

And there are a ton of others as well. I think it’s actually a cute concept. I can see why people might find it stupid, but even my boyfriend has joined a fan page with something that he really liked. You just see something and think ‘I’VE DONE THAT!’ or ‘I LOVE THAT!’ and the temptation is so great!

Facebook, oh Facebook, why must you torment me? It’s gotten so bad that I don’t even turn it off when I’m away from my computer. I have it on my phone, my iPod; Facebook is never out of reach. I don’t know how I’d live without it. It’s great to be able to talk to any of my friends on chat, send them a message, create groups to get together, and put ideas in discussion groups.

I wonder if Facebook will be forever, or I wonder what will come next…


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me: Reflecting on the Past

Today I turn 22 years old. To many, that’s still fairly young. I might appear old to only very young children. Personally, I think that I’m in that period that I consider as the ‘unsure’ years. Some may have established an identity at this age; I’ve seen people that I graduated high school with become mothers, fathers, successful businesspeople, get married, among many other things. Then, I notice the lack of identity in myself and feel a little jealous. Sure, I’m a college student, and that is something, but it’s also frustrating to see most of my high school classmates graduating from college this year. I certainly feel behind.

(Here comes the cheerful part)… But I’m 22 years old! And I’m not behind! Sure, I might work in retail in my spare time, but I’m going to school to make a life for myself. I’m also not worthless in heart, mind, and spirit. God is always cheering me on and I know he’s proud of my accomplishments. I’m smart, funny, (trying to be) independent, charming, among many other fun and quirky adjectives.

I have learned a lot of valuable advice over the years. Some of the advice has been fairly light-hearted, and some of it has been pretty serious. All in all, the advice has made me the girl I am today. I thought I’d share some of what I’ve learned: to give you advice in return, to make you smile, to make you relate back through your years. Enjoy!

****From my childhood:****
-Always wipe
-Imagination can get you ANYWHERE
-Always try new things
-Living life isn’t nearly as fun without a best friend
-At least one person who is important to you will move away or pass away. And somebody will offer you support when it happens.
-When an adult tells you not to do something, LISTEN TO THEM. It might seem like a good idea to do what you want, but most of the time there is truth to their warning.
-Share frequently- people appreciate it
-Don’t throw hard toys at people’s heads, no matter how annoying the neighbor boy is!

****From being a teenager:****
-Don’t be ashamed about having curly hair
-Don’t only think about yourself
-Boys aren’t everything
-Success in academics is never a bad thing!
-It’s important to put care into your appearance
-Develop great friendships with your teachers
-Don’t be ashamed about being different than others
-It’s not all about being in the popular crowd. It’s about being with the people who care about you more than life itself and are good influences
-A first kiss is a wonderful thing, but it’s also important to stay innocent and move slow

****Lessons that I’ve learned in the last few years:****
-If you feel like you need to hurt yourself, don’t! Call anybody, and if you don’t have anybody to talk to, call 911. There is always somebody who will be there to get you through the hard times.
-Drinking excessively is stupid. If you get sick and feel awful 90% of the experience, it can’t be all good.
-Accept your body the way it is, and don’t be ashamed of it. God made you to look a certain way, and he doesn’t make mistakes
-Don’t depend on your significant other. Realize that you don’t NEED them, but feel absolutely blessed to have them in your life
-Sex is worth waiting for. If you have done it, and wish to not do it until a more reasonable time, then do it! Just because you made an impulse doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it
-It’s ok to act like a kid. Don’t behave like one though
-Enjoy the little things in life
-Don’t feel pressured to do something because other people are. Things come at their own time for each individual. And sometimes they won’t come. But let things come naturally and embrace them as events happen

There are definitely more pieces of advice I could share with you, but I am trying to keep things fairly short and concise. It was actually fun to think of the times where these lessons occurred; definitely brought back a ton of fun memories. The best part is that this list will just continue to grow along with me. I’m definitely not fully mature (is anybody ever TRULY mature?) and have a lot to learn. I also hope to learn to reflect and develop lessons through my own posts. I mean, I’m actually taking the time to write out all my thoughts instead of keeping them trapped up inside my skull, so I might as well take them seriously and go into more detail. It’s really quite fun that way.

And to anybody that wishes me a happy birthday, thank you!


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Blogging With a Purpose: Goals and Intentions

Now that I’m in the process of establishing a blog, I figured it would be a good thing to set some blogging goals for myself. As I mentioned in my last post, my prior blogs had more of a ‘journal-entry’ focus to them. I wrote about anything that was going on in my life, with little regard to the people I was writing about. The situations were probably not appropriate either. I’ve gone through a lot of emotionally damaging situations and I’m beginning to realize that some of it probably will never be entirely appropriate to write about publicly. That’s why I (should) keep a journal at home, something to write my deep and most private thoughts in.

I follow a variety of blogs now, some ranging from blogs that need to be kept in the journal format, others that seem to have primarily informative posts, and a few that are a little of both. I’m not saying the posts in the journal format are bad, I just believe that those posts should generally be more lighthearted and focused. In my older blogs, I would write posts about how depressed I was, yet I would go into extreme detail to the point where my friends and other readers would worry too much for my safety. That’s not a good route to go. If you want to have a public blog, you want people to find joy in reading it.

My boyfriend kind of has a blog through his website, he’ll write posts every now and then (hasn’t much lately). But what I really like about his posts is they are ABOUT something, whether it is a review, or starting a job; it feels like there is direction. And the other aspect I like about it is that it includes a variety of topics (most on the electronic realm, but not all). I figured if I was going to start a blog, I wanted to follow a similar approach.

However, the concept just wasn’t sinking in for me as I was starting to reconsider writing a blog a few months ago. I wrote a few posts, but they just felt unfocused and unsure. So, I set the idea aside for awhile. I also was told to try WordPress but that turned me off to blogging as well. I know it works great for some people; however I find Blogger to be much easier for me to maneuver. I let life take over. I just kept everything I wanted to write about bottled up; figuring inspiration and direction would hit me eventually.

And yesterday, it just did. I went to sit down at my lovely computer and I felt compelled to open up a word document and just write. Write about something important to me. Something that could be important for somebody else to read. And so my post on open-mindedness was born. And you know what? IT FELT AMAZING! You know what else? I want to continue doing it. Every voice in my mind screamed ‘START A BLOG!’ This time while I was setting it up, everything felt natural. The name came easily, I don’t feel nearly as anal about the appearance, and it’s relaxed. Sure, I hope people read my blog… but I’m fine if they don’t.

I could go on and on… I do think it’s probably a good idea to actually talk about my goals now…

-My post has to be about SOMETHING and actually stick to the topic at hand
-It should be about something other people might find interesting
-It should not be entirely self-focused. I want other people to find enjoyment from the advice, thoughts, and other information I provide
-I will take other readers advice to hand. If there’s a topic they want me to cover, I’d be happy to write a post about it.
-Be honest. A lot of bloggers seem intent of keeping this high and mighty image they’ve established for themselves. If people like me for the person I am, then that’s great. If they would rather read about people who seem better than the average Joe, that’s up to them.
-Establish myself with communities and other bloggers. It’s not about me, I intend on developing relationships with people who also have important things to say. You get back what you put forth, too. By going out of your way to help other people, you gain better friendships, trust, and reliability.
-Most importantly, have fun!! While I want other people to enjoy it and I don’t want to present myself as selfish, I’m writing this blog because I believe I have important things to say and I want a creative outlet to get those things out there. This is why I’m blogging, and not writing a private journal instead. This is what I enjoy!

So, now you’re getting a better idea about the basics of who I am. I wanted to share these goals with you, so you can see my intentions for blogging. For the first out of many times I will say this, I really appreciate the people who will come along on this ride with me. I hope this helps me grow as a person, and helps me build strong friendships that I will cherish for a lifetime.


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm Not You, and You're Not Me! But That's OK!

I have honestly tried blogging before, but I never realized the importance of blogging with a purpose! To me, it was like a game, a public journal entry of sorts. I mean, I’m 22 years old! I really don’t have many hobbies (at least not very seriously) and for the most part my life is pretty mellow. Not to say that it hasn’t been before, I’ve gone through nearly every situation under the sun and I have a lot of opinions on life.

Now, I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m over-opinionated, because I’m really not. If you knew me, I’m truly one of the MOST accepting people in the world. I live by the motto ‘Everybody is Different’. And that’s the truth! We all think differently and while two people might share some opinions, in reality they will never share all the same opinions. This is one reason I tend to avoid political and religious discussions. Not to say that I don’t enjoy them, it’s always terrific to get new viewpoints on a topic. But if an individual does not choose to believe or support what I think, then that’s ok. They aren’t me! Now, I will get a little annoyed if somebody is trying to convince me to do something that I plainly do not agree with. I respect what other people believe, and I do not appreciate it when people do not respect my choices. They aren’t me! (Yes, I know I sound a little redundant, but I’m trying to make a point here!)

One of my favorite classes I’ve taken in my college career was a philosophy class called ‘Critical Thinking’. Before taking the course, I still held similar beliefs to being open-minded. However, my professor often had to correct my posts because I’d present a close-minded opinion. Usually it was not something I was pressing to my other classmates, but I would make assumptions very easily. We all make assumptions that aren’t true, but my professor was amazing at informing me about the importance of trying not to. One discussion question in the class requested us to go out into public and observe other people. The assignment was to challenge first impressions. We would pick an individual, recognize the first impression that came along with the observations we made, and then create a background story for the individual that was different to the impression originally made. It was really clever! Obviously, we didn’t know the individual’s background, but it was a great way to challenge the impressions. Just because somebody looks or acts a certain way doesn’t mean they ARE that way. We are different, and we have different reasons for looking or behaving in any way. I still go out into public, and I still have first impressions. But now, I try not to let myself stick to them. By using this exercise, it really helps me focus on the people underneath appearances and behaviors when I meet them.

I also try to be very open to trying new things. I certainly am not perfect at this either, and I have a lot of reservations (I used to be an extremely picky child!). I don’t like everything I try either. I just took a knitting class recently, and it just isn’t for me. I certainly hope other people give it a try though, just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you won’t. (Uh oh, here it comes again…) You aren’t me!

And just because I am open to listening to different opinions, viewpoints, and activities doesn’t mean I accept everything that comes my way. For example: I am pro-life, I’m unsure where I stand with homosexuality, I believe parents should teach their children concepts from the bible and not depend on church and Sunday School to do so, I don’t agree with K-12 class sizes greater than 25 students. If people ask why, I will be happy to share with them my thoughts. What I believe sets me apart is that I understand why people choose to be pro-choice, I don’t condemn homosexuality even if I don’t agree with it, at least children going to Sunday School and church is certainly better than nothing, and there are wonderful teachers who can educate a large class effectively (among other things…). I really try hard to step in another person’s shoes and see things from their standpoint. They aren’t me, and I’m not them. It’s fair to try and understand why other individuals think differently. This next one I’m trying to be better with, but I shouldn’t mind if an individual calmly discusses with me why I should believe something in a different manner. I want my thoughts to change, grow, and evolve, and by being close-minded I can’t really do that well, can I?

I know perfectly well that people aren’t going to agree with my viewpoint. But you know, that’s ok, and I respect that. But, I’m happy that I am the way I am (clarify- at least with my open-mindedness). I truly feel most at peace this way and, in my opinion, that’s the way I should feel.


Well Hi! My name is Fin! And I work in a Button Factory!

Ok... I really don't work in a button factory...

Hi there! My name is Rachel, but I’d rather be known as Fin. I am 22 years old, and I live in the Midwest. I am a junior through the University of Phoenix and I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I live with my self-diagnosed narcissistic father at home. I work at a cute souvenir shop and, for the summer, I work at a barbeque restaurant. I also babysit in my spare time. I have a wonderful boyfriend (who is also my VERY best friend!) and his family has adopted me as another one of the kids. I also have great friends that I enjoy spending time with.

I am also a Christian. I’ve been going to church since I was eight, but in the last year or so I’ve really been exploring where I stand in the realm of Christianity. I attended an ELCA church for many years, but in the light of all the controversy going on, I wanted to find something different. Also, I live in a town with a very small 20-something population, so I recently started attending church with my boyfriend. It’s a wonderful place with a motto of ‘Come as You Are’. I wish I could say I read the bible avidly, but I maybe only pick it up once a week. Besides accepting the fact Christ died on the cross for me and for all mankind, I believe my role is to be as Christ-like as possible. I know I’m a sinner, but I try my darned best to love, accept, and be a good person. I personally enjoy the books of Matthew and Romans the best, for I feel they give some of the best direction in how we are supposed to behave as good Christians.

I love music and take voice lessons once a week. I guess I don’t exactly know what section I sing, in middle school it was Soprano I, in high school it was Alto 1, in college (my first year and a half) it was Alto II, my first voice teacher a few summers ago said I was Soprano II, and now my current teacher says I go into head voice in the Soprano range. I like to take that as a compliment in that I have a wide range! I also dabble in the piano, but I’m very much a left-brained person and it’s very technical and concrete for me. I’d give my left arm to be able to create my own music, but because I can’t I try my best to appreciate the music that other people create.

Reading is another hobby I’m extremely passionate about. Mostly you fill find romantic filled fiction (Nicholas Sparks and LaVyrle Spencer are a few of my favorite authors!) and self help books in my bookshelf. I also follow at least over twenty blogs, varying between mommy blogs, blogs about children with illnesses, Christian blogs, and photography blogs. I’ve been reading since I was five, and I haven’t stopped since! I used to get in trouble in school because I’d read during classes instead of listening to my teachers. Oops!

An activity I’m picking up this year is storm spotting! Weather has always been something I’ve been passionate about since I was really young, and an activity I’ve wanted to try for years. My boyfriend has been spotting for a number of years now and is taking me along for the ride. This year I’m going to go along with him so he can show me the ropes. But I’ve just started to look at the material to get my radio license so next year I can do it on my own. I’m VERY excited for this!

I also enjoy writing (obviously enough to start a blog. AGAIN!). Enough of my friends, family, and teachers and told me it’s a strength of mine, and I think I believe it myself now. I believe writing about my experiences is probably my biggest strength, but I enjoy writing poetry and fiction as well. I’ll try to throw a little of both into the blog, so I can practice them. I also will throw in some advice, and some reviews of movies, music, books, and travel opportunities. Since I don’t have any significant hobbies, I have to write about something significant!

Other hobbies that aren’t so significant include: Cartoons, rollerblading, biking, walking, sleeping, baking, going to amusement parks, and other things that obviously aren’t coming to mind at the moment. You’ll find out, I’m sure. I love trying new things and I try to be open to new experiences.

I hope you enjoy reading my blog. I will warn you now that posting frequently can and WILL be one of my weaknesses, but I will try very hard to combat that.