Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Monkey Bars

About a month ago, I took the plunge on something I'd never thought I'd do.

It's one of those situations I'm sure everybody has dealt with from time to time. Nobody is happy at their job all the time, and that resounding question of 'should I stay or should I go?' rings in your head. Most of the time we take the justified route though. Either we will ourselves to stay and suck up whatever negative aspect created those thoughts, or we line up another planned opportunity and move into that.

That's what I've always been taught. Stay and deal, or make arrangements for change.

Here is the thing. I'm 27 years old. I'm married to a wonderful, supportive husband and am now the mother of a curious toddler. I have a degree in Psychology. I've worked in retail and I've worked in human service. I make keychains and babywear.

Those are really lousy definitions. They don't really define who I am or what I am passionate about. They are simply facts. I do not want my life to be defined by facts. I want my life to be defined by values, goals, passions, dreams, desires.

So, back to what I thought I'd never do: I put in my notice at my job. Without a backup plan. My heart was pounding as I handed that letter to my manager stating that, on this date today, I would officially resign from my position.

I've been fortunate enough to find some opportunities to let me take a few months off. But I need this time to get back to my roots; get back to who I am at the core.

Don't get me wrong. I am BEYOND terrified. It's hard letting go and not having something else to grasp. When you're a kid, you learn on the monkey bars that if you reach out and don't have another bar to hold onto that you fall. And while the prospect of falling is usually seen as bad, it can also be seen as a growth opportunity. You fall, you get back up again. You reassess what you've done, what you've did, and what you will need to do to reach that next bar.